Chapter 2: Repressed self

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Her brother was sitting by her side but was talking to her as though she was another person, it was really perplexing.

“Let me look at a mirror,” she interrupted him.

She saw him froze before he laughed. There was no mirth in his eyes though, merrily anger.

"You're still narcissistic even now!"

Yin Luo Xue’s face was so red and puffy. Yin Zheng Zhen for once didn’t know where to start to explain things and she didn't know how to talk to this person who was unwilling to hear her out. She herself wasn’t sure she knew what happened. No, she absolutely didn’t know. There was a growing fear in her that was threatening to consume her and make her insane; she was doing her all to reign it in. She just had to regain control of things. Her emotion was as good a starter as any.

“I already told you Bai Shan, the contract is over. What were you doing in the city still? And how did you met with my sister!”

Contract? What was he even talking about!

His phone rang and he got up to take it outside, leaving her alone. Slowly, Yin Zheng Zhen got out of her bed and walked to the toilet on the right side of the room. Opening it, she saw that there was indeed a mirror by the sink. Her heart thumping, she approached. Lifting her head, even though she more or less was prepared for what she was going to see, the shock still made her take two steps back, before gathering herself and approaching to look closer.

No matter which angle she looked, this was really the same face as the one on the photo those months ago. This was without a doubt Bai Shan's face. Hands trembling, Yin Zheng Zhen tried to take it off, hoping against hope that it was some sort of mask. But no matter what she did, it wouldn't come out!

To her horror, she was really in Bai Shan's body!

***

"You really know how to take your time! I have been calling you nonstop for an hour!" 

Yin Luo Xue was particularly angry at the person on the other side of the line. Seeing that he was shouting, he lowered his voice, unwilling to prolong the conversation, he cut short the other party's excuses, "my sister died tonight." Without adding anything else, he cut off the line.

Hands trembling, eyes moist once again, he put the phone back in his pocket.

After they announced to him that she died on the operation table, Yin Luo Xue could only force his way to the morgue where she laid and kneeled, crying by her side. She seemed to be merrily sleeping, her face, despite the wounds, was so peaceful; but no matter how much he shook her, she refused to wake up. She was just a corpse now! Horror struck at him as he had realized that while he was fooling around with the one he just got a call from, his sister was slowly losing her life down that cliff trapped in her own car! How much time did she spend there, while the rescue was trying to figure out how to get her out? Could she had been saved, had they been quicker?

What were her last thoughts? Did she suffer? Did she try to call? 

There was always a fear in him that she would track him down using his phone, so everytime he was in Qian Xun’s place, he would deliberately let it back at his apartment. However, once he got there this afternoon, he found so many missing calls. It was ringing nonstop still. A the time it was the hospital calling for his fiancé, Bai Shan, having been found. Even though they had yet to make their broken engagement know, Yin Luo Xue hadn't been in a hurry to arrive at the hospital. So, how great was his shock when, upon arriving, the first person he saw was his sister on a litter being whirled by paramedics, blood dripping everywhere from her.

Oh God, what a terrible sight! 

Until the wedding, he had kept on telling himself just the night before and many before that. Until the wedding. He would be with that man just until the wedding. After all, he shouldn't matter too much, he was a man, it wasn’t like he could get pregnant so it didn’ count as cheating. It didn’t. And sometimes when he was drunk enough, Yin Luo Xue really believed those words.

He didn't want his sister to think of him as a dysfunctional or an abnormal person or for her to see him differently. He couldn't stand that so he tried really hard to suppress and denied his sexual orientation, going out with women more and more. When, no matter what he did, he still found himself more attracted by men than women, he started losing hope and was ready to enter a fake marriage contract, to prove to the society that he was normal. It was just that, he needed to be truthful t himself just a little bit. Before that prison he was willing to jump in, he just wanted to give himself a brief time of honesty. He wanted the man he came to love, to love him back, even if it was a pretended love it didn't matter. Just before his sister truly laid claim on that man, he wanted to be with someone who would understand him. 

He had disillusioned himself that it was harmless.

But now, he was too overwhelmed to continue lying to himself. He knelt, tears rolling down his cheeks. No, no, no. He was unwilling to accept that reality. That she wasn't going to be here anymore. That the person who welcomed him in this family... Oh, God... He had yet to apologize, it couldn’t be! It absolutely couldn't be the truth!

Yin Luo Xue shed tears like never before, his heart and world breaking without making a single noise.

When he had cried long enough and hard enough, he didn't know what to do after that, who to inform..., he really didn’t know how to proceed. Who was he supposed to call? Her attorneys? Who? Her fiancé first? So he tried calling for Qian Xun yet the latter didn't respond. He tried again and again before a nurse finally came to remind him of his fiancé being here too. In the end, he remembered what had brought him to this hospital first. Bai Shan.

***

Now that he finished his call with Qian Xun and wanted to return to Bai Shan's room once more, Yin Luo Xue couldn't help but hear the commotion at the entrance of the hospital.

How come the media were already informed?

It came to him then that maybe the best and first person he should have informed was her assistant. Liang Feng. This ever composed person would certainly know what to do. Taking out his phone once more, he inhaled a bit, before starting the call.

It was cut short.

Yin Luo Xue glanced at the time on the screen, one a.m. No wonders. Liang Feng bottom line for him was ten p.m.

Shuddering a bit, he still took his sister's phone that he was handed before by the paramedics and dialed the assistant's line once again.

This time, it was immediately answered.

***

When the phone started ringing, he had been asleep for less than an hour, and the headache he was nursing since the morning, had just calmed down. Now, however, it was threatening to return with vengeance. Extending his hands towards the night table, Liang Feng cut off the call and directly turned off the mobile. If they knew to call passed midnight, then they could damn well do so in some more decent hours. Even he should be allowed some time of respite. Seconds later, it was his second phone that started ringing, the one his boss dared call his ‘service phone’, a phone which calls he could never reject no matter the time of the day. Liang Feng cursed under his breath. He should have seen it coming. The woman took her holiday just the day before yesterday in prevision for her incoming wedding, but she was obviously already fretting that he was going to sink her companies. Witchy workaholic person! What does that fiancé of hers even see in her anyway?

Reluctantly, he connected the call and mechanically answered, his voice a lethargic one. At the other end, instead of the feminine voice of CEO Zheng, the panicky voice of her brother sounded in his ears. Frowning, Liang Feng calmly ordered him to regain his breath and explain. 

'Damn, what was it again?' the assistant couldn't help but think.

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Chapter 1: Identity

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Three months before that incident, everything was alright and no one could fathom that the death of the heiress to the Yin family, Yin Zheng Zhen was anything close by. 

Grandfather's Yin most bitter regret in this life, he used to say, was that he only had one child. A useless child. The man was hard and cold, others may also say unfeeling but Yin Zheng Zhen, for having grown by his side, knew that he had his own way of showing his emotions. No matter what though, as disapproving as he was of his child, he never remarried after the death of his wife and just tried harder to correct his son's ways.

However, knowing that no matter what he did his father could never disown him, Yin Zhi Ming ran after women and spent his time in clubs. When one had the money one shouldn't be stingy and should know how to spend it, we are young only once, that was his motto. He was enjoying life without a care in the world. In a way, how he turned out to be, was a bit his father's fault. His father didn't have time for him and the people he would hire to take care of his child would be threatened by the latter so they didn't dare make him do what he didn't like. Alcohol, drugs, jail time, nothing was left untested by this person.

When he turned twenty-seven and still didn't know how to behave, an ultimatum from his father was laid. If he didn't mend his way, before dying, grandfather Yin would really give his properties to associations and leave him penniless. The document was already drafted by the lawyers and was just waiting for a signature. For once, he was serious. Indeed, the threat was heard. For a whole year Yin Zhi Ming behaved and the old grandfather Yin could breathe. Seeing his child finally sensible, he arranged a wedding between his heir and his friend's daughter, Tian Chen. Both parties approved and before long, Yin Zhi Ming and Tian Chen were wedded. A year later, a daughter was born, Yin Zheng Zhen. But who knew that once more, Yin Zhi Ming would start fooling around again. Tian Chen put up with his first infidelity and chased away the woman, she did so with the second but at the third, she hurriedly signed for a divorce; she didn't care anymore if ties between the friendly families were broken.

In a fit rage, grandfather Yin disowned his son and chased him out of his house saying that he will raise his granddaughter to be his heiress, he didn't need such a person anymore. The ties between Yin and Tian families weren't broken and the young baby was left to the care of the grandfather. Under him, Yin Zheng Zhen really became a worthy successor, learning from scratch and working hard. He started bringing her to the company ever since she was small making her do menial tasks and she slowly climbed the ladder to the point where when she was eighteen she was already at the head of many projects. If grandfather was strict with his employees he was stricter with her, expecting nothing short of perfection though not forgetting to praise her when it was due. As such, Yin Zheng Zhen grew up never really knowing her father. From her paternal side of the family, she only had her grandfather. That was until her nineteen years old birthday. A child of twelve years old was brought back by her grandfather who said that this was her half-brother, Yin Luo Xue, as well as announced to her the death of her father, someone she rarely saw.

Even though she herself wasn't affected by that death, her grandfather deeply was. She knew that even though he chased his son out himself, it was as though, he was waiting for the day when his child would come back to him. However, the latter never did and grandfather Yin was too proudful to be the one to extend his hand first. In the end, that Yin Zhi Ming died while drunkenly driving and it seemed that when she heard this, the mother of this Yin Luo Xue hurried to Yin company to inform the CEO that he had another heir, lusting for the biggest amount of money she could gain and even though she first tried to play the good mother, in the end, grandfather Yin named a figure she couldn't say no to, and Yin Luo Xue was brought back to be raised under the Yin family's tutelage.

Following that, the ever healthy grandfather started having a decline in health and a couple years later, died. Yin Zheng Zhen, the only one left to care for this teenager, could only teach him what she had been taught her whole life but before long it appeared to her that Yin Luo Xue was unwilling to follow her steps and didn't even want to hear about Yin family's business matters. Yin Zheng Zhen was quite helpless about this and could only let him do as he wished. It was fine, no matter what, he was her brother and also family, her grandfather had appealed to her to always care for him and she herself quite liked this young brother, no matter what he wanted to do or not do, as long as it wasn't unreasonable, she would indulge him.

Now, looking at the same Yin Luo Xue with red eyes from crying and blood all over his clothes from having hugged 'her', Yin Zheng Zhen, for once in her life, felt her nose a little soured and a sudden desire to cry. She had just regained consciousness and the first thing she saw was his face. He was sitting by her left side, wearing casual clothes a previously white and blue shirt with blood stains now and blue jeans. He was staring at her, but his expression was far from welcoming.

"Bai Shan," he said slowly, in a cold voice, "you really have courage."

Faced with the frost in his face and voice, even Yin Zheng Zhen herself, started doubting her own identity, why was it that she was once called Bai Shan again?

Bai Shan. The first time she heard that name was three months ago.

***

As they were walking towards the elevators, the phone on the small pile of papers started vibrating. Glancing at the caller’s ID, the man in vest took it from his documents and directly gave the communication device to the woman ahead. She immediately gave the papers she was looking at, to another man beside her before taking hold of her phone. With the slightest smile, she connected the call and before she even got to salute her brother, the other’s frosty command cut her,

“Why are you so suborn, stop investigating her already!”

Her amiability was immediately lost and on her face, her usual sternness.

“My, my," she said mockingly, "I have yet to receive the data but you’re already this fretful, do you have anything to hide?”

With her head, she motioned her personal assistant to call the elevator and stepped inside with him in the empty cage as the other man beside them gave the papers he was previously given to the personal assistant, adding to his already long pile of documents.

“We’ll be cut for a while,” Yin Zheng Zhen informed and there was a sigh of frustration at the other end of the line though she didn't care.

Yin Luo Xue could only vaguely hear as his sister was briefed by Liang Feng on the advancements of some projects, the sound intermittent. When the elevator opened at the latest floor, she murmured one “go on” to him.

The man’s voice returned, more docile now, having calmed down,

“She is nothing like the previous girls ok, I really love this one and she’s in love with me too. Can’t you let us rest a bit?”

“Let you rest? You suddenly announced to me that you’re engaged and you want me to let you rest? Yesterday, I still didn’t even know you were seeing someone!”

“…” Yin Luo Xue could only bite the bullet, “I… I didn’t want you to scare her away okay? She’s a good girl but had some of a bad past. She’s a changed person now... Your people investigating her, asking about her to people she knows will be bad if it leaked out... she's an actor you know, and is really trying her harder.”

“My men? I always hire professional ones, who know their job. No rookie who would leave traces behind. Thus, someone else is investigating her, which means, she's trouble.”

Yin Luo Xue groaned, and in the end, could only refute with "she's a good person and I love her, isn't it enough for you?"

Yin Zheng Zhen’s lips lift in mockery. Yin Luo Xue really inherited their father's passion to love women left and right.

“Wasn’t Fei Mu also a 'good person', I still remember you being arrested because of her. Drugs found on her I believe which she then put on your name to get out of this mess. Or wasn’t Su Yu a good girl too, who knew why she tried running away with my diamonds…."

"Elder sister, please,"

"I’m checking ahead, what’s wrong with that?”

There was another sigh at the other side and walking behind, the assistant pretended not to hear anything that was said, focusing on walking at the same pace as his boss. Less work would he have if the young brother really succeeded though, so he mentally gave his encouragements to continue to the person, even if he doubted the youngster would change this woman’s mind.

Yin Zheng Zhen opened the door and stepped inside, the assistant following behind,

“Dinner,” she proposed,

“What?”

“I want to meet your girlfriend, of course, invite her for dinner tonight, seven sharp. I will then decide if investigating her background is necessary.”

By now, she was already sitting behind her desk and had already turned on her computer; when her brother agreed, she wished him a good day and disconnected the call. Her assistant was still standing in front of her, having already put the pile of paper on her desk, just waiting to be dismissed now.

“Did the documents arrive?”

Even though she was looking at her screen, Liang Feng knew he was the one talked to, so he took out the large envelope which was on the pile of documents he was previously carrying and put it in front of her.

“Here. They didn’t go inside out since it was an order issued yesterday night but it should still have her background and her personal and criminal records.”

She was first met with the name 'Bai Shan' on the cardboard. Tearing it, inside, the first things to be seen were the multiple photos of a woman in different angles. A young woman of twenty-five with long hair. She had a fair skin and long black hair with dark eyes. Even though she couldn't be considered average, she was still far from being the most beautiful woman in the world. For Yin Zheng Zhen, this person didn't seem to possess anything extraordinary. But then again, Yin Zheng Zhen had never been a fair judge when her brother was concerned.

Calm and composed, the assistant didn't utter a sound as she went through the report. She was vaguely mumbling as she read,

“Orphaned... actress... No record on drugs...,” after a while she frowned, "it doesn't say where they met."

“… It's just about her, should I ask that team to investigate deeper?”

Yin Zheng Zhen tapped lightly on her desk, observing the smiling woman on the photo. To investigate or not?

"Not yet," she ended up saying, either way, meeting her first won't be bad, she could still order a more detailed investigation later.

"Yes," Liang Feng acknowledged expressionlessly. Yin Zheng Zhen suddenly lift an inquiring gaze at him when she saw that he had his eyes still lingering on the woman on the photo.

“Now that I think about it, it’s been some time since I last saw you with a woman. Are you dating someone now?”

The assistant kept his professionalism, and just reordered his framed glasses on his face though just the gesture suggested he was annoyed by the question and having being with him for so many years, Yin Zheng Zen knew so.

“No.”

“Really, when you started here I remember I could see them flocking around you.”

The man wasn't ugly and he certainly didn't lack the money, at the time, he didn't lack the arrogance either,

“....I learned a lot since then.”

Yin Zheng Zhen leaned on her desk and with a small smile asked,

“Is that so?”

Eyes narrowed, she reminded,

“Your father keep saying that I kidnap his son when it’s you who won’t go.”

“I still feel that there are many things I could learn.”

She didn't continue to argue, he was already a twenty-seven years old man, he should know his own mind, instead, she redirected the conversation to the woman on the photograph,

“You’re a man, tell me, this woman, is she beautiful?”

Without hesitating, he said,

“She is.”

“Would you bed her?”

His lips twitched at the crude question but he still answered,

“Depending on our compatibility why not?”

“…”

“…”

Yin Zheng Zhen looked at the small photo framed on her desk, it was a photo taken a couple of years back with both her grandfather and her little brother. 

"Bai Shan," she once again tested the name on her tongue. “compatibility, huh, let’s see what kind of woman he brought us this time.”

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Prologue

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She woke up with a pounding headache, moaning as her eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light. Febrile, she lifted herself to sit on the relatively small bed, the smell around her faintly that of alcohol and chemicals. Yin Zheng Zhen blinked, her throat parched and sandy, so dry that it was uncomfortable to talk. When her sight cleared enough to discern more than just vague forms, she saw that her right hand was connected to a drip, she was wearing a blue medical dress having here and there bandages all over her body, touching her face, she could feel the bandage on her forehead as well. For a long few minutes, she couldn’t remember what happened to put her in such a state.

Trying to keep as calm as possible, she was aware of herself being in a hospital room, so she quickly found the emergency button and pressed on it.

Not too long after, came one doctor and two nurses who seemed glad to see her awake, cutting the doctor who was talking about the miracle of her survival, she asked,

“What happened to me?”

“You can’t remember?” he answered in a question, a frown on his face, as the nurses were fiddling one with the machine and the other with her perfusion.

Yin Zheng Zhen shook her head and frowned as the action just added more to her suffering, her headache was getting worse,

“No, I… the last thing I was doing..." her head was completely blank, she couldn't remember, she involuntary moaned, and let her head fall on her hand as it felt as though it was ready to explode at any moment, so painful; but even like that, she tried harder to remember, unable to no matter her efforts, "I was… what was I doing?”

“Miss, calm down,” cautioned the doctor in a soothing voice as he came closer to her, standing by her side.

It was a middle age man, whose short dark hair had started turning white, he had a bit of fat and quite a round face, but he was welcoming and his expression exuded more warmth than authority. 

He checked on her, asking about discomfort anywhere as he made her follow his finger's movements with her eyes and when it occurred to him that besides physical wounds, everything else seemed okay, he slowly told her,

“You were in an accident. Your car fell down from a cliff.”

“A cliff?”

“Calm down-”

He was talking, but he couldn't say she was hearing. She started to cough, the pounding in her head returning with vengeance. Images appeared in flash in her mind, women shouting at each other. The pain, it was so painful that she thought her head was being split open.

She crouched down and moaned, holding her head in her both hands; if before she could still hear their faint voice, now, Yin Zheng Zhen could hear nothing from what the doctor or the nurses were saying anymore. Though from the gesture, they were asking her to breathe slowly. However, her body had a will of its own and refused to obey. Soon, she started shaking, her body lying and twisting around. She felt the syringe being forced in her arm and shortly after, it was complete darkness again.

***

When she regained consciousness again, her headache had disappeared. One of the previous females nurses was in the room already. It was a young woman, mid-twenties, with chocolate short hair one and brown eyes. Seeing her eyes open, she smiled at her patient, asking her how she felt now. And since Yin Zheng Zhen couldn’t talk easily, the nurse helped her sit down and gave her a cup of water. It was warm and easily eased her discomfort.

“It was just the shock, it is alright now,” the woman talked softly as Yin Zheng Zhen was drinking, “you have a slight concussion but nothing wrong, though we would still like you to stay in observation for now..." The woman beamed at Yin Zheng Zhen taking the small plastic cup handed by other, she hurriedly said, "You are really a miracle to be able to come out alive without such sequelae from such a height! God certainly said it wasn't your time yet!”

The accident she was talking about, Yin Zheng Zhen had no memory of it so she merrily let out a noncommittal sound and laid down once again, feeling quite tired. Never in her life had she felt so tired. Ans somehow, looking at this nurse who was still beaming at her, made her even more tired. Why was there adoration in this young person's eyes? It was as though she could barely restrain herself from jumping around -or God forbids- squealing!

Yin Zheng Zhen didn’t stay in the dark for long.

“I recognize you immediately by the way! I’m a huge fan,” a very long emphasis was put on that 'huge'.

Although Yin Zheng Zhen's face was certainly not something unknown to the world she still found such reaction quite excessive.

"You don't have to be afraid, our hospital is strict so no worries about those paparazzi. God if I knew I would meet you in person! Darn, I forgot to bring my notebook. But... would you sign an autograph for me later?"

"An autograph?", she asked a little slowly, just to make sure.

"Can't you," the dejected maid inquired sadly, "does your hand hurt too much for that?"

What was this person talking about? Even though there weren't many women in her position, it still wasn't to the point that she became some sort of idol. Wasn't it just being CEO? However, looking at this hopeful face observing her with stars in her eyes, Yin Zheng Zhen knew that it would be pointless to argue.

"Later then- for now, if you could get me a phone, I will be grateful."

"Of course, of course..." Who knew what else she was going to say, but she was certainly about to be long-winded, though the door being opened stopped her. It opened on the doctor and the nurse immediately took a professional look, straightening her posture and making that silly expression she was carrying disappear.

"I see that you're awake? How do you feel now?", the doctor asked slowly, not wanting to agitate his patient so soon.

"Better. I need to inform people can you get me a phone?"

"It's all right, your fiancé will be here soon." The smiling doctor turned to his colleague and looked at her again, saying jokingly, "even though your identificational papers hadn't been found, with that face of yours you were easily recognized."

The nurse smiled sheepishly while Yin Zheng Zhen merrily looked at the ceiling, her fiancé huh, she wished they would have called for her brother instead.

"Miss Bai, wouldn't it be an injustice not to recognize you," the nurse hurriedly said, wishing to sell some good points for herself, " even though you have yet to be a lead, your characters are all well done, no matter what everyone said, I'll forever be your greatest fan!"

Hearing such, Yin Zheng Zhen was brought back to reality and frowned. What lead? What character? She felt for once this was a conversation she could make no head or tail of,...

"What did you call me?" she whispered,

"Bai Shan?" the nurse said tentatively, as her imagination ran wild, she gasped in horror, forgetting all about ethics, she clutched at the doctor, "it couldn't be that she had amnesia, it couldn't be right!"

With such a big reaction from another person, Yin Zheng Zhen felt that no matter what she did or say would pale in comparison and she rather wait for the doctor to calm down this panicked person before inquiring about the clarity of what she was being said.

Suddenly the previous headache returned. Flashes appeared in her mind again. She could now discern what the two women were about. One of the voice was hers... she was confronting the other's infidelity... the other's voice... wasn't it Bai Shan's? 

That name... who was she again...

Yin Luo Xue! Wasn't she his fiancée!

She could vaguely remember now, Bai Shan's eyes had glinted with fury as she was shouting her rage, a river of curses had flown and when the calm Yin Zheng Zhen promised to the other woman that she would distance her from Yin Luo Xue, the woman had laughed maniacally as though she lost her mind, shouting that she was about to commit suicide so it didn't matter anyway. The woman was certainly agitated enough to act on that threat, so when Bai Shan's jumped in her white Audi speeding away, Yin Zheng Zhen had followed in her yellow Lamborghini, while calling for the police and the emergency. She never liked the woman but she wouldn't be the person standing there doing nothing as the other fling her life away, certainly not in front of her.

Only bribes of what happened stayed in his memory.

At one point, when Bai Shan accelerated on that turning of traffic clearly intending to let her car fall, Yin Zheng Zhen outspeed her and tried to stop the other's car with her own. However, looking where she was and at her state now, both cars must certainly have damaged the fencing and fall over the cliff. 

At that time Bai Shan was still shouting, “What does it matter to you! What can you understand? Death is my only solution and solace now!” and although the person was voicing how her death would free her from this world, Yin Zheng Zhen only thought was that she couldn't die, absolutely shouldn't! No way! She was going to be married in a couple more days with Qian Xun, was planning on having children in a year and another in two years time, she would then dare Liang Feng to return back to his own company. Her brother, by then certainly would still have found a certain number of girls he 'felt in love with' and 'plan to marry', and she would help him see erased such insensible notion, and maybe, for once, he would listen when she talked and really find someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

She was absolutely against dying! 

She crouched, her head hurting but unwilling to stop remembering... what happened next... what happened...

The only image coming to her mind after that was blood on her hands. Despite the darkness of the night, she could still discern the stickiness of blood on her hands which were holding the steering wheel.

The doctor’s Bipper rang and he excused himself, still, in the corridor, loud voices could be heard approaching. A voice she easily remembered. Yin Luo Xue. Her brother's. He was shouting her name. What an unusual thing.

Unsteady, she tried to get up and after trying to dissuade her without succeeding, the nurse helped her up and opened the door. Her brother was holding the person lying on the litter fiercely unwilling to let go. The doctor who just left help restrain her brother who had tears on his face and was shouting as the other doctors whirled the litter in an operating room.

Yin Zheng Zhen who stood at the door of her room could clearly see the lying person's face as the litter came closer and she felt her blood draining from her face.

  

Her head suddenly throbbed.

She froze her mind blanking, her brain unable to process which reaction to give. She had looked for what seemed like three seconds before the people disappeared in speed however it felt like hours. That face, that body, she could recognize it no matter what... Wasn't it... wasn't it the face she had looked in the mirror for thirty-two years old now?

What...?

Before she knew it, she already lost consciousness.

That night, Yin Zheng Zhen was declared dead while Bai Shan, was saved. 

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The Moon To The Sun Chapter 1: Home at last

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The chirping birds outside seemed especially noisy today, she frowned a bit. It was complete silence just a short while ago, but now everything could be heard more clearly. It felt stuffy and shaky in there too, where was she? The pain in her body had dimmed severely and the only discomfort left was a mere headache. Besides feeling slightly hot, there was nothing else. With a bit of effort, Yue Liang slowly opened her eyes. Someone exclaimed and quickly put a hand on her forehead. It was slightly cold but really agreeable. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t bring her body to move and could only squint her eyes to see who it was.  It wasn’t her servant Bai Xue for sure? Fear gripped her heart. In the end, was it that she had yet to die and their escape from the country was discovered? With her alive and around they weren’t happy now that she was almost dead and gone they had yet to bring her back?! Just what must one do to make them happy!

It registered to her then, that she was actually lying on the person’s thighs and the other’s face contain too much joy for it to be a burden to bring her back.

And she was inside a carriage. A moving carriage. Much more comfortable than the one she was escaping with just some hours ago.

The person kept on talking but somehow, Yue Liang could only see her mouth moved but the sound had yet to reach her ears. Another hand reached to touch her forehead and this time around, Yue Liang could move enough to turn and look at the other person in the carriage with them.

She blinked a couple of times, wondering where she was. Was it paradise?

The woman she was seeing her… Yue Liang’s eyes widened in surprise. That woman’s face. That face she almost couldn’t remember, this beautiful face she had dreamed so many times of in her direst moments, wasn’t she her mother? … Then was she really dead? She could feel the jolt of the carriage, the soft body of the person she was lying on. It felt so real.

Yue Liang closed her eyes in anguish. Those terrible illusions one sees before one’s death. Couldn’t they collect her soul all at once, why must the collectors let her bear that kind of things after all her suffering?

Opening her eyes again, her mother was still in front of her. Her eyes welled in tears. When was the last time she cried? She couldn’t be sure, she felt like it was centuries ago, but here she was now, crying before of a hallucination. Her mother’s face scrunched in worry and the person crouched on her, touching her face all over. She could faintly hear her asking about the pain. Was it so intense?

Yes, she wanted to say. I’m so uncomfortable, my chest hurt so much. Mother, take me with you.

However, her throat was too dry and no sound left her lips.

“Here, drink,” said the sweet creation of her mind opening a gourd for her. The servant she was lying on, lift her body slightly and when her mother brought that flask near her lips and the water rolled down her mouth, it all felt so real that Yue Liang choked on the water.

“M…Mother?”

“Mother is here, we’re almost home, don’t worry anymore”

Touching contact with the person, Yue Liang didn’t care if it was an illusion anymore, so long as she could feel this person’s warmth, she didn’t care about anything.

“I am home” she murmured in a blissful smile before losing consciousness.

In her mind, she thought, wasn’t it wonderful in such circumstances to be dead? She really reunited with one of her family’s members at least.

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