I was born into an aristocratic family, the house of Agon. My mother was Elizell Agon formerly Elizell Strasford, the sixth daughter of duke Strasford. Back then, at that time, the Agon family had lost its prestige. It was but a fallen thing. The previous engagement between house Agon and house Strasford had already settled some decades ago and now that the standing of house Agon had declined, house Strasford was unwilling and started dragging. Yet to break the arrangement, no matter the circumstances, would still stain their name, thus to the heir of house Agon, Duke Strasford gave his illegitimate child to wed.
It was an open secret that Mrs. Strasford hated and mistreated the illegitimate children of her husband, so for Mr Strasford to give this daughter to wed, wasn’t taking Mr. Agon’s son in consideration at all, but making him the laughing stock of the nobility. However at the same time he was fulfilling his end of the promise and even taking one burden down his shoulder –one illegitimate child of his out meant hearing less of his wife’s criticism –or so I was told anyway.
From the portrait of that time that had been stored in our manor, I could see that mother hadn’t been particularly beautiful; she had a thin face full of pimples, big eyes, short hair and pale skin. She resembled more a teenage boy actually than the twenty years old woman she had been. Her journals that I found years later, had been full of complaints about her family she grew up with, about her father, her real mother, her father’s wife, her eight half-sisters and four half-brothers. And then they had been full of complaints about father too and me also. The favorite sentence that regularly returned was that she had never been appreciated for her value.
My father, Emmeanel Agon, from what I read from the records of that time had loved a woman. Daughter of Marquess Schauez. Maybe if at then he had had the money or the standing the house Agon used to have, the Marquis would have considered it -at the condition, of course, that the long-ago promise with house Strasford be broken. But Emmeanel was to inherit a house without money and full of shames. Who would want such dirty things splashed on one’s door, let alone that of a marquis? Thus, father had been rejected. After that, following his own father’s dying wish, Emmeanel had inherited the rundown castle that didn’t have any servants anymore and wedded the illegitimate daughter of Duke Strasford.
It hadn’t been a joyous event for the both of them. Emmeanel thought he was insulted and Elizell, although felt a certain relief that she wouldn’t be living under the same roof as her family, still felt that she was being once more her family’s scapegoat. I suppose this marriage was doom from the start.
Their union hadn’t really had been that commemorative so I imagined the wedding hadn’t been grand. Or maybe it had been and the poor state they were in forced them to sell their presents and no longer have anything to remember it by.
I was born two years after their marriage. The colder winter she had lived, had once said mother. My name had been given to me a week later. I used to think that, that name was as cute as the white little animal I had been named after. However, years later, thinking back at the meaning of such a name, the idea that it wasn’t after the animal appeared clear to me. Adding to that the middle name which had been famous for being the wife of the devil, I wonder now why I never understood. Was I too young to do so? Maybe too blind? Or too uneducated for that? Such a terrible and horrible name!
Erminae Lilith Agon.
I wonder who between the two of them chose such a name? Who, from the very first day hated me enough to consider the baby me as a devious, sneaky person, comparable to the Lord of flies’ wife?
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