When the door closed behind the round man, her ready-made smile left her face, her brows furrowed slightly and the wrinkles of worries slowly returned. Her expression, as she sat the hospital bed, was not one of a carefree teenager anymore.
“Do you think I’ll die?”
The doctor, who just sat in front of her for a checkup, froze in his movements, a little astonished. This girl wasn’t his patient. Actually, his colleague, the first who was in charge of her, went on holidays. The one officially tending to her now, for the time being, was a new doctor and his friend, a really worrisome person by nature, didn’t feel at ease letting a newbie take care of this delicate patient. Him coming here was just as a backup, to make sure that everything was alright. And, of course, since he was already there, he was also asked to take a look at her brain’s radio, his colleague wanting another expert's point of view.
The teenager had glassy eyes, almost on the verge of tears yet at the same time, it was as though those weren’t really her feelings but just something resulting from tiredness.
“I think everyone is working for that not to happen, isn’t it?” He returned the question with a gentle smile. “Tilt your head for me please?”
As she followed the doctor's light with her eyes, she couldn’t help but say, “but everyone is bound to die right? … I don’t mind that… It’s just, can it be not now?...I…I” She stammered a little and end up closing her mouth.
“Can’t it be after my dad?... grandma died some months ago if I left him too what will become of him?” Those were the words she wanted to say but she wasn’t confident enough that she wouldn’t cry upon saying them. That wasn’t what she wanted. To be pitied for her tears. She just wanted… to survive. A little longer.
“No worries, you won’t die now”
“…”
It didn’t seem as though she really believed him. He scratched his head, thinking a little, before fiddling with his watch. In its hiding space, he took out a tiny circular pill.
“How about you cheated death then?” he said in all seriousness with an engaging smile. His smile cracked a little at the expression she was showing.
Her face was clearly one that said for-which-fool-do-you-take-me-for? He gave a helpless smile as he sat near her, where her father had been before he left.
“This is my family's secret, okay? So listen carefully. These pills are able to let you reincarnated without losing your memory. Your body will be dead but the pill will let your spirit search for another. Like this, you need not fear death anymore.”
“Is this a candy?” she said with a healthy amount of disbelief. “It’s not cancer that I have, you know, and furthermore, I’m already aware of the trick, the placebo won’t work.”
He rubbed her hair.
“You know a little too many things, be a little more like a child.”
Swatting his hand away, she redressed her hair. They were already tangled enough as they were, no need to add more!
“It's something from an old legend, but have a little faith." That he personally didn't believe in it, he didn't confide. Cheering her at the moment was his intention or at the very least, letting her think about something else was far better than her gloomy thoughts. "It works for six months, that’s why every six months I have to take some, or my grandmother won’t leave me alone” Saying this with grievance, he continued “If you die within six months, you’ll safely keep your memories as you reincarnate, it would be like you never died in the first place.”
Her brows creased.
“Are you dooming me to die within six months, doctor? Didn’t you say that your work was to prevent that?”
The doctor gave a more profound kind of helpless smile.
“How about I give you more later then?”
He kept that smile, so she shrugged and swallowed it. It wasn’t exactly what she was asking for but the man had good intention so she readily accepted his present. Who would have thought that his nonsense was actually something truthful?
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